...

May the holly keep you jolly...
May the snow make you glow...
May the Christmas tree fill you with glee...

Let it be Christmas ~ Love, The Fishers

Happy Birthday to me...

On this day celebrating my 31 years, I am laughing to myself...

Got both my babies home w.me today - one's not "feeling good". The other's here everyday - having them both here sure makes things interesting :)

Back to laughing a lil' to myself - I'm thinking back over the last couple days and just shaking my head. I've joked that I'm out for a mother of the year award this week. From driving in the car the other day, reaching back trying to give Ella her paci, wondering why it's not ceasing the fussing - only to glance back and see her trying in vain to dodge the paci that's trying to impale her eye. I thought I was sticking it in her mouth...

My 2nd great feat for the coveted title was John crying out the other night and me going in to sssshhhh him back to sleep. He's sitting up in bed, mumbling something as I coax him back to his pillow. Trying to stroke his lil' head to settle him - he keeps wiggling around. I sorta put my hand a lil' heavier on his head in a "be still" sorta way, only to lean down and kiss him & smell that oh-so-distinct smell of vomit - it was all over his pillow. After all my sweet stroking & forcing his head back down, it was also all over his face & even in his eyes. When we finally got him to the tub for a rinse, he kept crying to Seth, "My eyes, my eyes!"

So this week has found me trying to poke one child's eye out with a pacifier and blind the other w.his own vomit - knocking it outta the park I tell ya!

Add to the week - Wake Co. (in typical NC fashion) calls a snow day before there's ever even a flake in the sky. Man, I used to LOVE snow days. Well, yesterday was a different kinda day - not like snow days I remember. Mine was full of Sh*$ - literally! From my 2 yr old who has to "get to poopin-ing" behind the loveseat - proceeding to get it everywhere b/c he poops the same amount as a horse to my lil' angel shooting hers all outta her diaper and up her back - the morning got very sh*$%y!

By the time all the poop was up and the lil' darlin's were down for a nap, Mama decided she was ready for a well deserved mid-day drink. I had Seth check the liquor situation - it was sad, no essentials. But I had seen someone making a "clementine martini" (chilled glass and all) yesterday morning on the Food Network and that inspired me. So, w.my raspberry vodka, triple sec, sierra mist & clementines I set out to make my masterpiece.

I had Seth retrieve my martini glass from the recesses of the top cabinet (not easily accessible by any means) as I set out to find my "shaker". I had to laugh while on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor retrieving my bar accessories from recesses of yet another cabinet. There was a time in my 20's when the shaker, the shot jigger - the whole set had a prime spot on the kitchen counter. Now that I'm in this next decade of life - coffee pot, olive oil, sugar, flour - these are the counter essentials, ha.

Looking to make lemonade out of my "lemons", I mixed my concoction - my longing to be clementine martini. To our surprise, it was quite good. So good in fact, I had to make a 2nd one just to be sure. I thoroughly enjoyed them both :)

So, I sit here this morning - this day celebrating my 31 years - and I find my sense of humor's as in tact as ever. Moreso probably. There's been no vomit, no spit up, no poop and we're well into the morning. The martini shaker's in the drainer - still within reach if the day takes a turn. The washing machine & dryer are quiet - I'm taking the day off from laundry. I joked to Seth about lyrics from a Kanye West song yesterday. The lyrics are about "watching the $$ pile up", but I changed them to "watching the laundry pile up". Hence, I still have swagger - it's just taken a new direction in this 3rd decade of life...

From an email I sent to Kimberly back in August, making plans for a birthday dinner to celebrate her 31st, I wrote the following:

...maybe that's a gift of hitting this next decade - you're finally at a point where you let the past go, are able to live in the present and truly enjoy all the blessings found right in front of us each day!

Sitting here today, baby monitor clicking here in front of me, John playing "animals" on the floor beside me, listening to Steve Buscemi as the voice of Templeton in Charlotte's Web (weird) - me interjecting to John that Charlotte is in fact, a "nice spider" - life's pretty good. I could use a lil' more sleep, a better stock of liquor and a good meal out - but the wish-list is extremely short. For that, I'm so thankful - I've got everything I truly need or want...

Oh, and I've been serenaded twice today - 1st by John, 2nd by my Mama - the blessings are all around indeed - Happy Birthday to me indeed!

Wringin' out...

The stockings have been hung, lights are strung, candles lit - Christmastime is here! As I look around the house at all the decor welcoming this special season, I'm just in awe. Not of the lights, the ornaments, the Christmas trees - I'm in awe of the people I get to share these reminders with...

I'm in awe of Seth. He's my best friend - has been for years now. For almost 4 1/2 of those years, he's been a wonderful husband. He loves me, challenges me, supports me, makes me laugh - helps me be the me I'm meant to be. But the best part - watching him become a father. Never did I have a doubt & it's only proven to me moreover with each day that passes - my children have the best Deddy. His love washes over them & the light in their eyes at the sight of him - proof positive, they know they're loved. I am thankful every day to be on this incredible journey with him.

I'm in awe of John. I don't even know where to begin. I couldn't be more proud, more amused, more amazed or more thankful that he is my son. To see the world through his eyes, to hear him express love b/c he's been given love, to hear him laugh - I fall in love with that little boy a little more each day. To wrap my arms around him - very much my big boy now - I can't think of anything sweeter. I often find myself randomly saying "I Love You John" - just in passing...it's kind of a habit. I just feel a need to say something & that's usually what comes out. To hear his "I love you too Mommy" in reply ~ oh heart, be still...

I'm in awe of Ella. Being blessed with one child to break us in, it's been so easy to become smitten with the second one. It's been easier to kiss her face, to hold her close, to find peace in quiet moments when she's in my arms - I know from experience that I will blink and she will no longer be this tiny baby. As she's finding her little voice, as she's looking in our eyes, as that grin spreads across her face - man, she's something else. Being home with her has been a gift. Being the face she wakes up to each day - a blessing I can't be thankful enough for. Knowing that this sweet lil' girl is ours to love ~ a joy I can't describe...

I have always sang "You Are My Sunshine" to John - from changing table, to being rocked...kinda been his song. I find myself singing it to Ella too. Sometimes I feel guilty at the line in the song "my only sunshine" b/c I know it's not true - I now have 2. The other night, John asked to "rock Mommy" after bath - I haven't done that in so long...it's him & his Deddy's thing. I asked if I could sing to him there in the dark. After he quietly confirmed, I began stroking his hair and singing softly in his ear. As his head leaned back into my chest & his legs spilled over my lap, I had to take a deep breath - my baby boy is so big. Then, he leans a little deeper and gives me that deep sigh he's always given since he was a baby - contentment defined. I had to hum from that point - too choked up to sing. That was the second time that day I got to rock a child, sing that song and feel the weight of their little bodies sink into their Mommy - knowing they are loved...

So this is my "wringin' out" - my joy is spilling over right now - the cup has certainly overflowed. Add to all the above joy, we've recently been able to share our home with family and friends - not making it home for Thanksgiving was ok...we had plenty of thanksgiving right here in our own home. The visits, the laughs, the moments - we've been so blessed.

We've been watching home videos that Seth's been converting. They make me laugh and of course some make me cry. Seeing moments captured is such a gift. Recently looked at video from last Christmas. John still had that d*&% paci, but he is not even an ounce of the baby he was in that video. As he sits in my Deddy's lap, tossing his Pappaw's box of Queen Anne's and laughing - not caring a bit about his presents, wheww - just awesome. Makes me smile so big. Knowing this year's Christmas morning will be filled with our talkative toddler and a new baby that wasn't even anticipated this time last year - we couldn't be more excited or thankful.

Well, we're barely into this new month & I knew if I didn't take a moment now to gush...it would be about sickening come January - ha. I feel like I've said/thought it before, but I don't know that I've ever looked more forward to a Christmas than I do this one. Something tells me I may feel this way every Christmas from here on out - each one just as blessed, if not more, than the last...

Blessings to everyone as you prepare your hearts to be filled this Christmas...

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Ella ~ 1 Month Old

Celebrating w.some new friends...



My big brother...



And making movies!



What an exciting 1st month it's been...I'm now smiling, cooing a lil' and still capturing mama & deddy's heart more with each day. Went to the Dr. and these were my stats:

Height: 22 1/4 in (9oth percentile)
Weight: 10 lb .5 oz (75th percentile)

I'm growing so fast :)

November Blue

I've fallen like the leaves ~ I'm warm beside your smile...

Those lyrics are mostly taken out of context, but they warm my heart & make me smile just the same. They're from the Avett Bros. song "November Blue". We first heard it sitting on the dewy grass at Walnut Creek, under the stars, stretched out on a blanket, holding each other close - the chill of fall finally in the air. At 39 weeks pregnant, we were emotional for the obvious reason but the beauty of this song brought us both to tears. Against Dr. advisement, I'm glad we had that moment under the stars - just us - before embarking on this newest chapter...

There's a lot I could say about Ella's arrival. But the sum of it would be that it was much better than anticipated. The labor and delivery were good, hospital stay got old, I missed John and I was so thankful when all of my family was finally able to sleep under the same roof. She's whole and healthy - we have been blessed with 2 beautiful, healthy children and we thank God each & every day for this. I love being home with her, getting to know her sweet face, seeing her grow & change a lil' each day. She's grunting on the floor here next to me as I type. To be so precious, she's by far the rootin'est tootin'est thing I've ever seen! I've taken to calling her "Tenacious E" - she does nothing half-way...you'll never not know when she wants/needs something - that I'm learning.

Most days, it's quiet on the home-front & I do miss John & Seth when they're not here. John continues to make us so proud. We can't help but smile when talking about him - he amazes and impresses us more each day. We confess that having him has made it so much easier to love and welcome Ella into our hearts. He's proof of the joy that awaits. We still find ourselves perched in the glider and stretched out on the floor in her room after putting John to bed. We're still basking in the glow of these beautiful angels - the littlest one now cradled lovingly in our arms. We're still dreaming of all the love & life that awaits. We're still laughing together - best friends who've been given the best things this life has to offer...

I have some big blue eyes staring hungrily at me - so I'm gonna wrap up. Just wanted to drop a note in the early days of this new month to say a quick "how we're doing". A final kinda funny...Seth has a "joy jar" that I gave him for Christmas last year. It was a homemade gift w.365 "joys" - one for each day. Yesterday's gave us both a chuckle - it was "A good night's sleep" - something that's kinda far & away for us these days. For the whole first year & a half of John's life - good sleep, also remiss. I told Seth I was probably laughing at the absurdity of that long lost "joy" as I was writing it!

At any rate, life's good. We're enjoying each other. We've enjoyed some visitors - bestowing company, good eats and heartfelt love & congratulations at our new addition. With family not close by, God has surely blessed us with good friends. My heart is warmed thinking of their thoughtfulness. Hope everyone's Fall is off to a good start. As the song on Nick Jr. says, "feels like I'm falling for Fall" - certainly ringing true. Even amidst the sleep deprivation - I'm certainly smitten right now...soaking it up like a sponge, for sure ~

My heart is dancin', to a November tune
And I hope that you hear it, singing songs about you...

Ella's Birth ~ A Snapshot

Getting the call - heading to the hospital



Unloading in Labor & Delivery ~ prepared for the long haul



The labor inducer ~ pitocin = growing misery



Labor survival ~ dinosaur strength (thoughts of John) and my music



The 1st cries of an angel



Deddy and his sweet pea ~ love at 1st sight



Mama & her lil' girl ~ so glad to finally look in those eyes



NOT a 9lb 6oz baby ~ glad the dr's were right :)



Nana



Pappaw



Calling Ella while holding my Ella



Getting checked out ~ a healthy lil' girl



Heading to post-partum



Pop-Pop ~ he kissed me & John goodnight on my birthday...what a blessed guy :)



Resting w.Mama ~ her love falling all over me



Taking it all in



Aunt Shannon ~ coming late night against Mama's advisement :) (she was excited to meet me!)



BJ ~ Mama's boss and friend (mostly the latter)



My 'pink lemonade' hat Mama made while on bedrest



Resting before discharge ~ what a morning



The 'going home' outfit ~ laid out & ready



Ready to go home



So proud & happy ~ homebound at last



Deddy & Ella ~ finally home



Fur sibling introductions ~ Chester



BABY SISTER!



Ella's 1st serenade via John ~ Jesus Loves Me (heart be still)



After my 1st dr. appt ~ said I didn't have to come back till 1 month old!



John helping Mama



Kissing baby sister ~ the love & fascination so apparent



We're home and slowly settling. In some moments it seems as if everything has changed, but in the next it feels that things are just as they should be. There's a peace in having our lil' girl here to love & hold that has fallen over us. Counting our blessings and soaking up our lil' angel head to toe. As if we needed further proof - God indeed is so good, ever proving His great love & faithfulness...

You're in my heart, that's not close enough...
-Emmylou Harris

38 weeks :)

This shall be the final belly pic ~ enjoy

John & Ella :)

Happy Friday ~ looking forward to the weekend...

Time to relax, to be together, to laugh, to be still, to enjoy the day - counting and soaking up our many blessings.

I told Seth the other day that if our house had a theme song, "Homebird" would be it. Thought I'd chronicle what I mean in pictures.

Looking forward to time spent w.my "homebirds" - our lil' "nest" will be growing soon enough :)

Happy weekend ~ Love, us

Dear Ella ~ 36 weeks...

Hey there sweet girl :)

I think we're finally getting down to the wire - your presence here in my belly is becoming "larger than life" and I'm getting so anxious to meet you. Anxious, excited, impatient - the list kinda goes on & on!

We went to the Dr. yesterday - they moved that 38 week ultrasound to 36 weeks - which was of course fine w.me! I must say there were some nerves going into this appt. We were told last Monday that you didn't seem to be head down, which was concerning. Also, your aunt Haley (God bless her!) has made me a lil' nervous w.her labor & delivery stories of lil' girls popping out as lil' boys, much to expectant Mommy's & Daddy's surprise. At any rate, definitely looking for some peace of mind in yesterday's appt. And even though I should have been praying/trusting more than worrying, so glad for God's faithfulness - we were nothing short of blessed in that appt.

While waiting, your Deddy was telling me about an engineering "thingy" he was at yesterday - of course, the mundane nature of that was plenty distracting - haha. I've concluded his nerves present themselves in facts and details - he might not agree, but that's my conclusion nonetheless. After his run down, I couldn't hold my bladder any longer and had to go back before we were ever called. I saw the ultrasound tech coming around the other side as I was making my way back to the waiting area - we were almost obnoxious and about jumped up to meet her at the door!

She took us back, gooped me up - it was a lot of goop (my tummy's SO BIG) and exploring she went. It's funny now thinking back, you looked like a big globby mess - we couldn't tell what anything was. It was like one of those pictures that if you stare at it long enough, you eventually see something. When you finally started to come into "focus", it was nothing short of amazing! From top to bottom - you were so complete...your hands, your feet & most of all - that face. Nothing short of beautiful - your lil' mouth, your lil' nose - your Deddy and I both were in awe. And oh, your hair - she said that's what we were looking at floating on that head of yours :). You're gonna have some I do believe!

At the beginning of the ultrasound, she asked if we had found out the sex at that earlier appt. I said yes, but she was welcome to confirm it again (praying silently - please be a girl, please be a girl!!!). She said sure as the world & pointed out your girly parts :) Oh, and she confirmed you were head down right out of the gate - deep sighs and hand squeezes! She measured you and said you were probably weighing about 6 lb 10 oz at this point which puts you in the 53rd percentile. She also moved your estimated due date from the 16th to the 13th.

We then met w.the doctor. She was encouraged/optimistic about everything, as were we. My blood pressure was good, still only slightly elevated. She said if I wanted to schedule a C-Section, it would be totally justified as you would likely be a good size girl, but maybe/probably not as big as John. She talked some about the shoulder dystocia and attributed that largely to John's size - we'd never really heard that perspective before, so that was interesting. She said given the "trauma" that was for me, there was justification if I didn't want to risk that again w.a natural delivery. I told her that given everything we knew at this point I was unequivocally committed to letting this ride out as much as possible - letting nature take it's course was the path I want to be on! John's delivery was rough I guess, BUT being the only one I've ever known, it was manageable. I also have great confidence and assurance in both the hospital staff as well as the OB's - I trust their guidance and decision-making. I also know God's not going to give me more than I can physically handle...I have to believe that!

So definitely feeling great peace after that appt. - excitement actually :) Has put a lil' extra hitch in my waddly giddy-up for sure. Even after a big weekend, I'm feeling pretty good this week. I have good days & not so good days, but all in all, I've felt really good this pregnancy. Very thankful for that!

I've got our hospital bags packed and ready to grab. Your aunt Shannon found your going home outfit and sent it to us. It's the same outfit I wore home and your cousin Taylar wore it home from the hospital too. I couldn't imagine bringing you home in anything else. It's packed w.some other lil' comforts that I wanted to make sure you had right away. Not that you'll notice any of it, but you have a lil' NC State puppy from John, your lil' bunny lovey from me and plenty of socks! Socks were a big thing w.John - there never seemed to be enough of them, so compulsively I've packed several pairs! I also put in some nail clippers so that you won't scratch your face the way John did - he looked like a cat got a hold of him those 1st couple of days :) I've packed your stuff in your diaper bag that Nana made - it's pretty precious & certainly one of a kind.

I think on the agenda next is getting some "gear" ready for you. This includes pulling out the car seat, the pack-n-play and setting up the bassinet. I guess that will mark the official spill-over of all things baby back into the house. For now, it's all been neatly contained there in your lil' room. Speaking of that lil' room - I often find myself in there taking it all in. I try & imagine you filling out those lil' gowns. I've lost count of how many times I've unfolded things just to re-fold them - an excuse to dream, I guess :)

John's taken to stopping in there himself from time to time. He most likes your socks, although he insists on opening each drawer much to my "I don't want to re-fold EVERYTHING" nervousness! But he usually sticks to the socks. He'll pick out a pair, pull them apart & proceed to sit on the floor and try and put them on. "Not fit?!" is usually his conclusion - it's become quite the lil' ritual when he finds a light welcoming him into your room.

I'll go ahead & warn you that your rocker may continue to be a shared seat. I was instructed to "sit there Mommy" the other night to help John read his "All the Ways I Love You" book from Nana. It's really special b/c she's actually "reading" the book - ingenious idea from Hallmark! I think John thinks this is the only suitable place in which to read this book. At any rate, it was quite a "full" moment sitting there listening to her reading, John plopped on my ever-so-shrinking lap and you just a wiggling around. Heart-filling to say the least.

I guess that's it for now. Just full of anticipation for you. Getting to see you yesterday was so surreal - hard to not just want you here to hold & love. But, as I've said before - semi selfishly glad to have you to myself for a lil' while longer. Being able to reach down and know that's you squirming around - and you do a lot of squirming, is nothing short of amazing. Keep growing sweet girl - we're anxiously awaiting you. The joy found in the promise of you will sustain us till we're able to hold you close...

All my love ~ mama

Christ says, "Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete." John 16:24

Happy 4th Anniversary Darlin'...

Make sure & pause the music player!

Fun things about the weekend...I'm on a roll :)

Nothing riveting or exciting here - just us being us ~ enjoy...

Breakfast Burgers



Fresh ground coffee via our own Sat. morning barista



Feet up @ every chance - taking mental pictures to remember what they look like :)



Celebrating 33 weeks!
(text on shirt, "Ugly Truth", is no reflection of current state of mind - pretty funny, though!)



Enjoying the view :)



Marveling @ our lil' Picasso's color palette - brush, water, color, paper - if only we could get the order down!



Tackling and ultimately defeating Mt. Pile'O'Laundry
(notice all the pink in pile #5 - scored big @ Friday's consignment sale)



Discovering new book nooks



Relaxing in the peace of an at home, altogether kinda weekend



Soaking up the laughter of our lil' man - laughed himself right out of a couple of time outs (how can we be serious amidst all that charm?!)



Beautiful azaleas



Man-time in the bed of Deddy's truck



I stretched out on the floor w.John last night after dinner. Seth, bless his soul, had total clean up b/c vertical was no longer a position I could handle. As I was laying there, playing animals w.John - him often distracted w.his new Ice Age Movie (watched it 23 times this weekend), I found myself rubbing his feet. Specifically, I was running my fingers over the pads of his lil' toes...marveling at the lil' human Seth & I created. His beautiful skin, his 10 lil' toes, his ever-spinning mind...God gave us such a beautfiul, bright-hearted child. In looking at his 10 toes, I smiled to myself thinking of 10 more growing inches away from him in my belly. Pretty soon there will be 40 toes in our house - I couldn't help but wonder...when all is said and done, how many toes will fill our family :) As I'm typing I'm almost shaking my head at the silliness of that thought - but I'm counting the blessings in it too...

After John went to bed last night, found ourselves upstairs on the couch chatting...
I told Seth how I thought a picture on the wall (the big one of me & John - his head in the palm of my hand @ 7 wks old) was leaning left. That or all the pictures were slightly tilted left - he confirmed that it was in fact, only the big one. Good to know :)

That 7 weeks wasn't much older than this:


More importantly, we talked about the # of Saturdays between now & Ella's due date - six to be exact. That number seems so tee-tiny. I talked some about selfish prayers I've been praying...praying that Ella will be a lil' girl - that the ultrasound tech got it right and praying for her health - that she be as healthy as John. Not that a variation in either of those would make me love her any less, but I'm human & those are the thoughts that cross my mind. I do a pretty good job of trusting those things that are out of my hands to God - but I have my moments...I, like any mother, want the best for my children and my family.

Brings me back to the verse that puts it all in perspective:
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Feeling blessed to see my future in the love I have wrapped around John and Ella. Knowing hope b/c I have a heavenly Father that lovingly gives me more Earthly blessings than I deserve. Those "heart be still" moments I find myself in so often - I know they're God's loving arms around me, his whispers of "I Love You".

Hope everyone has a blessed week - Happy almost-September!

Open Heart
He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.

~Story People~