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May the holly keep you jolly...
May the snow make you glow...
May the Christmas tree fill you with glee...

Let it be Christmas ~ Love, The Fishers

Happy Birthday to me...

On this day celebrating my 31 years, I am laughing to myself...

Got both my babies home w.me today - one's not "feeling good". The other's here everyday - having them both here sure makes things interesting :)

Back to laughing a lil' to myself - I'm thinking back over the last couple days and just shaking my head. I've joked that I'm out for a mother of the year award this week. From driving in the car the other day, reaching back trying to give Ella her paci, wondering why it's not ceasing the fussing - only to glance back and see her trying in vain to dodge the paci that's trying to impale her eye. I thought I was sticking it in her mouth...

My 2nd great feat for the coveted title was John crying out the other night and me going in to sssshhhh him back to sleep. He's sitting up in bed, mumbling something as I coax him back to his pillow. Trying to stroke his lil' head to settle him - he keeps wiggling around. I sorta put my hand a lil' heavier on his head in a "be still" sorta way, only to lean down and kiss him & smell that oh-so-distinct smell of vomit - it was all over his pillow. After all my sweet stroking & forcing his head back down, it was also all over his face & even in his eyes. When we finally got him to the tub for a rinse, he kept crying to Seth, "My eyes, my eyes!"

So this week has found me trying to poke one child's eye out with a pacifier and blind the other w.his own vomit - knocking it outta the park I tell ya!

Add to the week - Wake Co. (in typical NC fashion) calls a snow day before there's ever even a flake in the sky. Man, I used to LOVE snow days. Well, yesterday was a different kinda day - not like snow days I remember. Mine was full of Sh*$ - literally! From my 2 yr old who has to "get to poopin-ing" behind the loveseat - proceeding to get it everywhere b/c he poops the same amount as a horse to my lil' angel shooting hers all outta her diaper and up her back - the morning got very sh*$%y!

By the time all the poop was up and the lil' darlin's were down for a nap, Mama decided she was ready for a well deserved mid-day drink. I had Seth check the liquor situation - it was sad, no essentials. But I had seen someone making a "clementine martini" (chilled glass and all) yesterday morning on the Food Network and that inspired me. So, w.my raspberry vodka, triple sec, sierra mist & clementines I set out to make my masterpiece.

I had Seth retrieve my martini glass from the recesses of the top cabinet (not easily accessible by any means) as I set out to find my "shaker". I had to laugh while on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor retrieving my bar accessories from recesses of yet another cabinet. There was a time in my 20's when the shaker, the shot jigger - the whole set had a prime spot on the kitchen counter. Now that I'm in this next decade of life - coffee pot, olive oil, sugar, flour - these are the counter essentials, ha.

Looking to make lemonade out of my "lemons", I mixed my concoction - my longing to be clementine martini. To our surprise, it was quite good. So good in fact, I had to make a 2nd one just to be sure. I thoroughly enjoyed them both :)

So, I sit here this morning - this day celebrating my 31 years - and I find my sense of humor's as in tact as ever. Moreso probably. There's been no vomit, no spit up, no poop and we're well into the morning. The martini shaker's in the drainer - still within reach if the day takes a turn. The washing machine & dryer are quiet - I'm taking the day off from laundry. I joked to Seth about lyrics from a Kanye West song yesterday. The lyrics are about "watching the $$ pile up", but I changed them to "watching the laundry pile up". Hence, I still have swagger - it's just taken a new direction in this 3rd decade of life...

From an email I sent to Kimberly back in August, making plans for a birthday dinner to celebrate her 31st, I wrote the following:

...maybe that's a gift of hitting this next decade - you're finally at a point where you let the past go, are able to live in the present and truly enjoy all the blessings found right in front of us each day!

Sitting here today, baby monitor clicking here in front of me, John playing "animals" on the floor beside me, listening to Steve Buscemi as the voice of Templeton in Charlotte's Web (weird) - me interjecting to John that Charlotte is in fact, a "nice spider" - life's pretty good. I could use a lil' more sleep, a better stock of liquor and a good meal out - but the wish-list is extremely short. For that, I'm so thankful - I've got everything I truly need or want...

Oh, and I've been serenaded twice today - 1st by John, 2nd by my Mama - the blessings are all around indeed - Happy Birthday to me indeed!

Wringin' out...

The stockings have been hung, lights are strung, candles lit - Christmastime is here! As I look around the house at all the decor welcoming this special season, I'm just in awe. Not of the lights, the ornaments, the Christmas trees - I'm in awe of the people I get to share these reminders with...

I'm in awe of Seth. He's my best friend - has been for years now. For almost 4 1/2 of those years, he's been a wonderful husband. He loves me, challenges me, supports me, makes me laugh - helps me be the me I'm meant to be. But the best part - watching him become a father. Never did I have a doubt & it's only proven to me moreover with each day that passes - my children have the best Deddy. His love washes over them & the light in their eyes at the sight of him - proof positive, they know they're loved. I am thankful every day to be on this incredible journey with him.

I'm in awe of John. I don't even know where to begin. I couldn't be more proud, more amused, more amazed or more thankful that he is my son. To see the world through his eyes, to hear him express love b/c he's been given love, to hear him laugh - I fall in love with that little boy a little more each day. To wrap my arms around him - very much my big boy now - I can't think of anything sweeter. I often find myself randomly saying "I Love You John" - just in passing...it's kind of a habit. I just feel a need to say something & that's usually what comes out. To hear his "I love you too Mommy" in reply ~ oh heart, be still...

I'm in awe of Ella. Being blessed with one child to break us in, it's been so easy to become smitten with the second one. It's been easier to kiss her face, to hold her close, to find peace in quiet moments when she's in my arms - I know from experience that I will blink and she will no longer be this tiny baby. As she's finding her little voice, as she's looking in our eyes, as that grin spreads across her face - man, she's something else. Being home with her has been a gift. Being the face she wakes up to each day - a blessing I can't be thankful enough for. Knowing that this sweet lil' girl is ours to love ~ a joy I can't describe...

I have always sang "You Are My Sunshine" to John - from changing table, to being rocked...kinda been his song. I find myself singing it to Ella too. Sometimes I feel guilty at the line in the song "my only sunshine" b/c I know it's not true - I now have 2. The other night, John asked to "rock Mommy" after bath - I haven't done that in so long...it's him & his Deddy's thing. I asked if I could sing to him there in the dark. After he quietly confirmed, I began stroking his hair and singing softly in his ear. As his head leaned back into my chest & his legs spilled over my lap, I had to take a deep breath - my baby boy is so big. Then, he leans a little deeper and gives me that deep sigh he's always given since he was a baby - contentment defined. I had to hum from that point - too choked up to sing. That was the second time that day I got to rock a child, sing that song and feel the weight of their little bodies sink into their Mommy - knowing they are loved...

So this is my "wringin' out" - my joy is spilling over right now - the cup has certainly overflowed. Add to all the above joy, we've recently been able to share our home with family and friends - not making it home for Thanksgiving was ok...we had plenty of thanksgiving right here in our own home. The visits, the laughs, the moments - we've been so blessed.

We've been watching home videos that Seth's been converting. They make me laugh and of course some make me cry. Seeing moments captured is such a gift. Recently looked at video from last Christmas. John still had that d*&% paci, but he is not even an ounce of the baby he was in that video. As he sits in my Deddy's lap, tossing his Pappaw's box of Queen Anne's and laughing - not caring a bit about his presents, wheww - just awesome. Makes me smile so big. Knowing this year's Christmas morning will be filled with our talkative toddler and a new baby that wasn't even anticipated this time last year - we couldn't be more excited or thankful.

Well, we're barely into this new month & I knew if I didn't take a moment now to gush...it would be about sickening come January - ha. I feel like I've said/thought it before, but I don't know that I've ever looked more forward to a Christmas than I do this one. Something tells me I may feel this way every Christmas from here on out - each one just as blessed, if not more, than the last...

Blessings to everyone as you prepare your hearts to be filled this Christmas...

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.