Brings me back to an epiphany I had a while back...
Something to the effect of the older I get the less I seek to be right & the more I seek just to be in peace...amen & amen.
Thus, I let John have the card tree this morning - this is the 1st peaceful morning we've had over the last several. If you haven't had to live at our house for the last few days or so, be glad you haven't had to live at our house :)
The terribleness of two has come fast and it's come hard - to the point of non-recognition :( As a sometimes blogger, it's much more fun to write about sunshine & bubbles than it is tears and sadness. But with one peaceful morning under our belt for the week, I've found some moxy to indulge here.
Last night, I had the babies on the couch on either side, all burrowed together as we waited for Seth to get home. As I laid there with them, some peace came washing over. As my Ella Bella looked a lil' more like herself, smiling & being silly, I couldn't help but smile back :)
I don't want to go into the details of the terribleness but the takeaways are that she will grow out of this (eventually), she has more tenacity/resolve than any person of her stature should possess and the old addage, "this hurts me more than it hurts you" is painfully true sometimes (sigh).
Oh, and Happy New Year :)
It's always hard to get out the gate in a new year but alas here I am and the gate's wide open for 2013. There's a Story People that I was reminded of recently. It goes...
Maybe I don't want a Happy New Year, he said.
Maybe I want an intense New Year with a lot of growth experiences.
I had to shake my head and laugh (more head shaking than laughing) at that sentiment. On the heels of 2012, the last thing I'm seeking in 2013 is "intense" or "growth experiences." Told a good friend over the dinner the other night that I'd like to stay just the same and ride an even keel all year long. The more I think on that, I know it's ridiculous...just give me January - I'll get back to growing next month :)
Along those lines & new year-ness, I don't like resolutions. However, I believe in having resolve in how you live. Taking things as they come, showing up and always seeking to put your best foot forward - laughing, being kind, being honest, listening, seeking good...also helpful in resolved living. Can't take yourself too seriously either - that maybe should go to the front of the list :)
Dishwasher just stopped - it was so loud...didn't realize how loud it was till it was quiet. Isn't that just like life sometimes - you don't realize how loud/busy it is till you're afforded a pause. John put a pause in me the other day asking, "why are you always in such a hurry?". To be fair, John & molasses - very similar in nature :) Boy can't pull his britches up for trying to carry a constant conversation. He could certainly use a lil' more hitch in his giddy up, but him asking me that reminded me once again of "unless you become...heart like a child" and the example our children are of the notions of good living. Taking our time (when there's time to be taken), noticing the sunshine, appreciating the rain (and puddles), loving more on the dog (in spite of her resistance), being silly and going for the laugh, snuggling when possible, singing, holding hands, crying as needed, taking time outs (or being given) and I guess the list could go on.
So, I think it's fair to say I want more happy than intense in this new year. I want more of the above notions of "good living." I want it for Seth & I want it for the babies. I don't want to be in a hurry this year. I want to marinate as much as possible so that I can savor later. And I don't want to run the dishwasher first thing anymore - just too loud, bad karma to start the day :)
Let's see what else...
We're enjoying apartment living so far. Of course, there are some "nuances" that leave a little to be desired, but harping on those isn't worthwhile :) Like everything else, it comes to pass, so we're making the best of it while we're here. We actually have equal amount of flat yard right off our porch that we had at the house, which is pretty funny considering. Seth made us (made as in he was driving) go by the house after church the other day. John said "we didn't stay long" as we did a sneaky drive-by :) Funny/weird, no nostalgic pull in seeing it - I guess that's a good thing - taking it as such. The babies are happy in the "new house" (ella) "da-partment" (john) so that makes things copacetic. And other than a moment of "I hate this..." b/c he couldn't find a tool he thought he'd kept from storage, Seth seems pretty content too :) Sorry darlin', had to put that lil' jab in there - I'd hate to soon forget a Saturday mornin' full of complain-a-pottamuses that left mama pouting and tearful on the playground whilest you and the babies went on your swinging/sliding merry way :)
Here's some Fisher Sundayin' at the new abode from the weekend...
the Jamaicans with the win...double time
Lucy ~ fleeting moments of sweetness :)
a lil' training ~ "elbows up, arms back"
and look at it go :)
the chalk ~ with us wherever we go
dog "loving" ~ bossiness yields resistance :)
lil' miss always goin' for the laugh :)
baskin' in the day ~ restin' the "dogs"
takin' the view ~ always
countin' the blessing of sunshine ~ above us, within us, all around
Amidst and in spite of the sometimes terribleness of two, the hurt me more than it hurts you, the unavoidable growth experiences, the loud a#@ dishwasher, nuances not worth harping on, the card tree-ness of the day...
choosing to seek & find "best life" ~ always
and with that, let me officially say
...............................................................
h a p p y N E W y e a r
blessings & good looking out for us all :)
