Dear Ella ~ 31 Weeks...

Hey there sweet girl. Been meaning to write for a while...kind of finding it hard to know where to start :)

We're at 31 weeks now - hard to believe. Went to the dr. yesterday. I found they are most efficient w.keeping to their appt times when I schedule around lunch (apparently they get hungry like the rest of us). At any rate, had already peed, weighed in, checked BP, talked to the dr., listened to your heartbeat and was sitting up when your Deddy finally got brought back. His defeat at having missed the whole show was quickly apparent & the dr. said she'd goop me back up so he could hear your lil' heartbeat. She scored big brownie points w.that! You measured fine & your heart rate was good - right on track!

My blood pressure was "slightly elevated", which didn't surprise me. Campus is abuzz w.the arrival of all the munchkins this week, so my lil' world's been much busier than usual. Combined w.all this looming heat and a lil' anxiety here & there - again, just not too surprised. This made for a good seigway to talk about our "late ultrasound" promised to us in one of our 1st pre-natal appointments. In looking back at my chart from John - his size & the high BP at the end of my pregnancy w.him...the dr. said we'd schedule an ultrasound at 38 weeks & discuss possible induction at 39 depending on how the BP's looking. She said your size would not be good reason for induction - going into labor on my own would be the ideal. But if my BP jumps up in these later weeks, we might not be waiting on you to get the ball rolling!

I was a ball of I don't even know what after that appt. yesterday. These week #s beginning w.3, the time frame est. for that far & away "late ultrasound" discussed months ago, the imminence of it all - just a tad hard to swallow. The reality of pulling in that parking deck w.an overnight bag, bypassing the door to the dr's office and making that curve around the sidewalk into the "Birth Center" - still trying to swallow. I can't believe in a single digit # of weeks - you will be in our arms, we will feel your 1st breaths on our face, we'll hear your 1st cries, we'll look into those brand new eyes, we'll count your lil' fingers & toes and we'll plant these building kisses head to toe - soaking up every inch of our sweet lil' girl. Heart...Be...Still...

Bought the 1st lil' pack of diapers for you yesterday (thank you Target for the $3 off coupon) and I emphasize the lil' part. Couldn't help myself & busted them open last night during John's bath - your Deddy & I both were in awe. As we were watching John "wimming" around in the bath tub, trying to find the spiders hiding under the bubbles, looking a his lil' tushy & back at that tee-tiny diaper...disbelief. We asked John what it was & he didn't even have an answer right away (which for him is shocking). We explained that it was a diaper for you - confusion washed over his face as he looked back and forth from that diaper to my belly. I don't presume to know what he was thinking, but I interjected with a "for when she gets here" to help clarify :)

On their way home yesterday, your Deddy asked John who's in my belly. John said, "my sister" - that's the 1st time either of us heard him use the word sister. Getting better, when asked your name, he said "baby Ella" & to top it all Deddy got him to say "I love you Ella". I got my 1st unprompted, "I love you Mommy" the other night...let me tell you, you're already making an impression w.your big brother :) His lil' love for you is growing each day and I think he's going to be the butter to your bread when you get here. I finally finished up your lil' book box this weekend, but when I started it the other week, John asked his famous, "Mama, what you doin'?" I told him I was fixing you a book box like his. He looked at the box, walked away, only to return a couple minutes later w.a book from his box "for baby Ella!" Heart...be...still

Don't get me wrong - John's as proprietary as anyone I've ever seen with what's his & not yours. He will gladly remind you of this w.a "mine" or a "no touch, please". However, given that you will be his sister, you'll probably rank right up there w.his cherished dinosaurs :)

Your lil' room has seen some final touches and is pretty much ready for you. Made you your very own compilation Praise Baby CD last week. Will be working on your Bedtime w.the Beatles one sooner than later. Your lil' radio is plugged in and ready to go. Been testing out your glider some evenings after putting John to bed. I plant myself there and rock while gazing around - fading daylight coming through the blinds. Many nights find your Deddy stretched across the floor, Salem Belle curled up at his side. Chester usually meanders in too looking for a nuzzle. You will never have to be alone in our house :) This time is usually spent dreaming of you, remarking how much our lives will be changed and counting our already present blessings - the biggest one currently being that bright little soul that will sleep down the hall from you.

We are so thankful and humbled that God is multiplying our blessings by giving us another child. Our anticipation far outweighs the doubts and fears this time around - your brother is a shining reminder of all the joy you are going to bring to our family. We are so excited to meet you sweet girl - your family already loves you so much...

Continue to grow and thrive - I know it won't be just me & you much longer. I admit, this part does make me a lil' sad - like John, I'm kinda proprietary too (he gets it honestly). I know the time where I have to share you w.this world is quickly drawing near. I won't be the only one to really feel & know all your lil' sunshine. I won't be the only one who gets quiet moments w.you filled w.whispers of love and all the wonderful people and life that await you. I know that those moments of reaching down and knowing you're right here, close as my heart are also going to be a sweet memory in a short time. Heart...Be...Still...

You are loved sweet girl - continuing to pray, await patiently & give thanks for the promise of you...

Growing each day...my heart with you ~ Mama

look at the little feet, look at the little hand - there is something there only I can understand...need to protect you, keep you from harm...you could live your whole life, wrapped up in my arms...