The stockings have been hung, lights are strung, candles lit - Christmastime is here! As I look around the house at all the decor welcoming this special season, I'm just in awe. Not of the lights, the ornaments, the Christmas trees - I'm in awe of the people I get to share these reminders with...
I'm in awe of Seth. He's my best friend - has been for years now. For almost 4 1/2 of those years, he's been a wonderful husband. He loves me, challenges me, supports me, makes me laugh - helps me be the me I'm meant to be. But the best part - watching him become a father. Never did I have a doubt & it's only proven to me moreover with each day that passes - my children have the best Deddy. His love washes over them & the light in their eyes at the sight of him - proof positive, they know they're loved. I am thankful every day to be on this incredible journey with him.
I'm in awe of John. I don't even know where to begin. I couldn't be more proud, more amused, more amazed or more thankful that he is my son. To see the world through his eyes, to hear him express love b/c he's been given love, to hear him laugh - I fall in love with that little boy a little more each day. To wrap my arms around him - very much my big boy now - I can't think of anything sweeter. I often find myself randomly saying "I Love You John" - just in passing...it's kind of a habit. I just feel a need to say something & that's usually what comes out. To hear his "I love you too Mommy" in reply ~ oh heart, be still...
I'm in awe of Ella. Being blessed with one child to break us in, it's been so easy to become smitten with the second one. It's been easier to kiss her face, to hold her close, to find peace in quiet moments when she's in my arms - I know from experience that I will blink and she will no longer be this tiny baby. As she's finding her little voice, as she's looking in our eyes, as that grin spreads across her face - man, she's something else. Being home with her has been a gift. Being the face she wakes up to each day - a blessing I can't be thankful enough for. Knowing that this sweet lil' girl is ours to love ~ a joy I can't describe...
I have always sang "You Are My Sunshine" to John - from changing table, to being rocked...kinda been his song. I find myself singing it to Ella too. Sometimes I feel guilty at the line in the song "my only sunshine" b/c I know it's not true - I now have 2. The other night, John asked to "rock Mommy" after bath - I haven't done that in so long...it's him & his Deddy's thing. I asked if I could sing to him there in the dark. After he quietly confirmed, I began stroking his hair and singing softly in his ear. As his head leaned back into my chest & his legs spilled over my lap, I had to take a deep breath - my baby boy is so big. Then, he leans a little deeper and gives me that deep sigh he's always given since he was a baby - contentment defined. I had to hum from that point - too choked up to sing. That was the second time that day I got to rock a child, sing that song and feel the weight of their little bodies sink into their Mommy - knowing they are loved...
So this is my "wringin' out" - my joy is spilling over right now - the cup has certainly overflowed. Add to all the above joy, we've recently been able to share our home with family and friends - not making it home for Thanksgiving was ok...we had plenty of thanksgiving right here in our own home. The visits, the laughs, the moments - we've been so blessed.
We've been watching home videos that Seth's been converting. They make me laugh and of course some make me cry. Seeing moments captured is such a gift. Recently looked at video from last Christmas. John still had that d*&% paci, but he is not even an ounce of the baby he was in that video. As he sits in my Deddy's lap, tossing his Pappaw's box of Queen Anne's and laughing - not caring a bit about his presents, wheww - just awesome. Makes me smile so big. Knowing this year's Christmas morning will be filled with our talkative toddler and a new baby that wasn't even anticipated this time last year - we couldn't be more excited or thankful.
Well, we're barely into this new month & I knew if I didn't take a moment now to gush...it would be about sickening come January - ha. I feel like I've said/thought it before, but I don't know that I've ever looked more forward to a Christmas than I do this one. Something tells me I may feel this way every Christmas from here on out - each one just as blessed, if not more, than the last...
Blessings to everyone as you prepare your hearts to be filled this Christmas...
Beautiful~ God is smiling ~ so many blessings are in your home and love in your heart~ the outpouring of love is contagious to all who share these blessings with you~ I have tears of joy~
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