Fun things about the weekend...

Celebratin' the start of the weekend





Enjoyin' our friday night (after the babies are in bed) "date" ~ new fave, scallops!





Headin' out for haircuts ~ just the boys





Gettin' out the "tractor" (helpin' along Mama's clean-up efforts) & takin' a post-work ride through the neighborhood





Enjoyin' the warmer weather & seeing faint signs of longed for spring





Reading books ~ esp. the story of Noah & Deddy's version w.the pigeon bringin' the sign from God...still laughin' about that





Hangin' out





Lots of POOPING IN THE POTTY ~ Yay John!





Cooking for the week ~ enjoyin' a lil' "quality check" here & there





Lovin' the #s on the thermometer





Chunky baby legs ~ kept gown on all day just for peeks





Nuzzlin' a sweetheart (not limited to weekends ~ an every chance we get occurance)





Warm sunshine ~ Back deck chillin' ~ cold beer (or several)





Some pamperin' ~ even Seth





Thinkin' back on this weekend last year...another unseasonably warm one in January





Dustin' off & enjoyin' the back porch ~ oh, how we've missed you





Laughter & sunshine ~ add to the list of good weekend earmarks





Action-figure (Joe & Steve) bowling w.Deddy





Celebratin' our big girl being 3 mos old




A most certainly "us" kinda weekend if there ever was one...Happy Monday!

ps. to my fellow "tater" ~ awesome weekend ~ let's do again soon!

Diary of a Monday morning :)

5:40am: Hear Ella rooting around - glance at clock...hope she's not waking up

6:10am: Alarm goes off...hit snooze...look over at Ella - sound asleep

6:20am: 2nd alarm...wake Ella up enough to eat...see Seth do a walk through

6:30am: 3rd alarm...finally get up - Ella sound asleep...head downstairs expecting to see Seth feeding John...see oatmeal on counter - Seth, "John's on the couch...upstairs."

6:35am: walk back upstairs, here Ella jabbering on our bed - go say "good morning"...tell her (b/c she understands what I'm saying), "I'll be right back"...find John curled (literally, had one leg folded underneath him) on couch in bonus room - sound asleep...nudge/nuzzle/kiss - barely a response...put him on my lap only to have him crawl back to the couch...say, "Ella's up buddy," - him spring off couch, "where is she mommy?"...trailing behind him, I grab 2 diapers & 2 wipes on the way to the bedroom

6:40am: help John climb on bed so he can shower Ella with good morning-ness...Ella jabber and smile like she's just seen Santa Claus....lay them side by side & change pee-filled diapers...notice Ella's soaking wet on her back...pat sheet underneath - glad to feel it's dry...run down hall to get fresh clothes

6:43am: back on the bed dressing Ella in a real outfit (onesie, pants, socks) not the usual sleep n plays...marvel at how cute she looks - curse infant socks (should come w.velcro)... get the babies downstairs

6:45am: Seth feeds John his oatmeal...I put Ella's socks back on (shocking) & get her in her car seat - her looking at me like I'm crazy, probably thinking, "man, I just got up - what's the hurry?!"...bring Seth John's coat/shoes

6:50am: carry Ella Bella in the kitchen as Seth's tries to calm John's hair - lots of water & combing...wiggle in between for a kiss/hug from John and Seth - time for me to go upstairs...kiss Ella one last time...wish them all a good day - chanting my I love yous and be carefuls as I head up the steps

6:54am: turn on mp3 player, pee (finally) and brush my teeth...notice hall light come on...holler down steps...Seth, "Bring more clothes, she threw up - it's everywhere!" (it was only spit up & it wasn't everywhere - melodramatic dad moment)...carry down sleep n play (knew a real outfit was too ambitious for a Monday)...start changing her...John says, "I need to potty"...Seth says "ok"...they head to the potty...Seth,"buddy, did you already go?" - John, "yeah" - me, "put him here next to her, had to change hers too"...side-by-side diaper changes...2nd time in an hour

6:59am: Seth gets John's pants up, his shoe back on (don't know why it was off)...load Ella back into her car seat...walk them to the door, more be carefuls & I love yous (1st round was voided by this point)...joke to Seth, "ok, Monday morning - Take 2!"...we laugh - they get out the door (Seth half knocking John down the steps w.Ella's seat) - "sorry buddy!"

7:03am: get back upstairs to get ready - thankful to have my teeth brushed & bladder empty - at least it was a start...time to "put on my face"

7:13am: laughing at the manic-ness of the morning thus far, text Seth - "Love yall ~ happy Monday!"

7:15am: he texts back, ":) life is great"

To think - I used to sleep till 7 before we had kids! Seth used to nuzzle/nudge/kiss me awake. Now, we're scattered about the house...each night & morning different from the last!

And speaking of "used to's" - thought I'd give myself a lil' "princess treatment" last night. Sadly/simply, these days "princess treatment" means getting off the chipped nail polish from my toes and fingers, clipping my toe nails, filing my too short nails (that I'm trying to stop biting), shaving my legs - actually went ABOVE the knee (going all out), applying fresh polish to my piggies & fingernails, giving my teeth a good floss & using mouthwash. Felt like I was sparkling when I got in bed. When Seth got in he brushed up against my hand - I jumped back...he said, "what are you doing" - I said I had just polished! He made an "ooh la la sound" - he knows it's been a long while since my nails have had TLC...constantly telling me to stop biting them.

Adjusting my hand so as not to be smudged, getting our covers situated and finally settling into bed - ready to close our eyes. Within seconds, we hear a baby cry...we raise up, check the monitors - they can sense our heads touching our pillows...after a few cries, few trips up & down the hall, peeing a couple more times - finally time to go to sleep.

As I mentioned in previous blog entry - "ill conceived reigns of life" - so falling by the way. It's ok though b/c I concur w.Seth...life is great. Sleeping past 6:30's overrated anyways...

Happy Monday!

The Wonder of It All ~ Story People

Sitting there in your pajamas & all the time in the world & if I could keep any moment it would be this: watching you & holding my breath with the wonder of it all.

Life at the moment...

Late Night ~ In the end, I think that I will like that we were sitting on the bed, talking & wondering where the time had gone...Story People

I completely concur with the above. Last night we found ourselves sitting on the bed, talking. When we're in those moments we count blessings, we laugh, we cry, we remember. We often talk about family, people we know, stories we've read - we marvel at the strength and resiliency of the human heart. We're astonished at the faith & perseverance. We're humbled past the point of words. I am grateful that Seth & I both take the time to empathize with those walking in much tougher shoes. We allow ourselves to be affected by their pain & hardship - we pray for them and keep them close in thought. We strive to be better for each other and for our children, consciously trying to not take any of this for granted...

Along the lines of the above, I'll say that having 1 child taught us something about time speeding up. Having 2 has increased it's passage exponentially. I find myself so thankful that the learning curve of the first teaches you to pause every chance you get - moments fleeting.

So, life at the moment ~

Ella started daycare yesterday. I've been working on my "check-list" for almost a week now- gradually collecting all of her lil' stuff that she'd need. The label maker was back from it's 2 yr hiatus...last name still the same.

John rode to school with Seth and I took Ella in my car as we made our way to the daycare. I waited "up top" for Seth to drop John off so we could take her in together. Once out of the care I carried all the gear, Seth carried Ella & we made our way down the lil' hallway to the infant room. We were both smiling at the familiarity, the not-so-long-ago memory of John being there and the excitement of taking Ella to meet Ms. Ruth. When we opened the door, there she was, sweet Ms. Ruth welcoming us with a big smile! I am smiling as I write this - it was sweet the familiarity of it all, Ruth's excitement over Ella and knowing how loved on our lil' girl is going to be there.

We got all her lil' stuff put in her cubbies, her blanket laid over her crib and bottles loaded into the fridge. Ella was no shortage of smiles for Ruth - she jabbered a lil' as well. I told Ruth she loves to be talked to and she's quite the "talker" herself. Another lil' girl, Marly, who's mom works downstairs came in as we were getting Ella settled. The mom teaches one of the 2 year old rooms downstairs, so she knows John and was happy to meet Ella. She asked how old she was and we realized quickly that Marly being a month older and about 1/2 Ella's size meant our lil' sweet pea looked like a big ol' bulldog (fyi: I mean that in the most endearing way).

Marly's mom asked, "do you not cry with the 2nd one?!". I said, "I guess not" - gesturing to Ruth and commenting on how well they are cared for. Although you know you'll miss them, knowing what I know now, I couldn't wish for better care for my children. And as she did with John, Ruth told us "to think about her, but not to worry." So we told Ella goodbye, I gave Ruth a hug and we closed the door. Before leaving, we paused and peered through the lil' window in the door @ Ella, swinging away. We walked away smiling...

Since we did it with John, we took ourselves to breakfast after the initial drop off. Biscuitville, no IHOP this time. As we sat down, I said I felt a lil' bad for not crying or being more upset. As Seth reassured me, there was no reason for either of us to feel the way we did w.John - we know what we're in for & we know what a blessing it's been for our family. We did reminisce some on the tears shed the morning we took him. The way we stood in that infant room and it felt like the air was leaving the room while the walls closed in. We remembered how we literally had to "collect" ourselves over breakfast before trying to go to work. I vividly remember the physical ache I felt leaving him like that. If I thought about that long & hard enough, I could probably conjure some tears for it even now.

But, there were none of those feelings this time. Sure, I miss her and I was anxious to hold her last night when I got home. Sure, some days will be harder than others. Sure, pumping SUCKS and I miss that lil' warm body against me. Sure, I don't care that much about mundane work stuff. Sure, it stinks that our evenings will seem shrinking because we're now both out of the house all day.

BUT, the big "but" of it all - is that it's ok. It's ok b/c I know in my heart it will be, I know God's not dealing me more than is meant for me to handle and I know one day at a time is all that I'm given and all I'm expected to manage. Life's way busier and fuller than it's ever been, but there's an amazing peace that our home is filled with right now. Doesn't make it any less busy, but there's great joy in the tasks and the "ends" that warrant all the many "means" we find ourselves enthralled in each day.

So, we're soaking up our lil' miss sunshine - so full of smiles & chatter. Her eyes shine & her whole face lights up with her consuming grin. It's pure sunshine. We have a burgeoning 2 1/2 year old who keeps us on our toes relentlessly. His wit, his charm, his tenacity, his stubbornness - he amazes, he frustrates, he amuses - more than anything, he makes us so proud. We know each day holds the promise of yet another surprise of something new that he's saying or doing. We see him beginning to emulate us in every way.

And although he has to constantly be reminded to "be easy" - we love watching John & Ella together. He is her sunshine & she desperately seeks his attention. He is just as anxious for hers too - showing her his dinosaurs or telling her what he's watching on TV. He's become very good at helping her get her paci in, covering her up, disposing of her diapers and trying to keep her hands out of her mouth! She's the only person he gives full on kisses to. I can hear in my mind the high pitched voice he gets when exclaiming, "hers smiling-ning." I know there will come a time when he's yanking those same toys from her but for now I'm enjoying his desire and excitement for her to share in all things John.

So, that's our kinda life at the moment. We're slowly edging into some better sleep habits, John's slowly edging into potty training (we're underwear over the diaper at the moment), we're slowly edging into this new phase and morning routine - we're slowly edging into 2011. Because 2010 started out with a horizon full of "plans" and ended with the blessing of a beautiful baby girl - we don't hold on to those ill-conceived reigns of life like we used to.

Like I said - moments...fleeting...

Dear Ella,

deep sigh...

I can't hold you close enough right now...

I can't breathe you in any deeper...

I can't believe it's almost time to return to the "real world"...

I will miss opening my sleepy eyes to that bright smile, illuminated by morning's light...

I will miss filling my "8 to 5" with all your loveliness...

I have cherished my time at home with you...

I am so happy to be your mama...

I am filled with joy when you're in my arms...

I will carry that joy with me every day ~ close in my heart...that's where you'll stay...

Happy almost 3 months precious girl ~ love, mama

a know this is a lil' overdue...

Ella Laughing ~ 01.08.11

Lingering in anticipation...

To linger is...

To remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave
To dwell in contemplation, thought, or enjoyment
To remain alive...

There was a lot of lingering for us this holiday season. Especially at the pinnacle of it all ~ Christmas. Minus Deddy, we stayed in Winston over a week past our arrival, definitely "reluctant to leave." It is the solitary time of the year when we can be there for a long period and we soaked it up as much as possible.

We found many moments to "dwell in enjoyment." From being with family, John & Ella, seeing the beauty of a white Christmas to finding quiet moments taking it all in...our hearts were nothing short of full and thankful.

Having all of our family finally be able to meet Ella was awesome. To see their delight & her bevy of smiles back at them was wonderful. She brings so much light & joy to our home, we were glad to finally be able to share that.

Christmas Eve was extra special for us - sitting on the front pew w.our son and my dad during the Lovefeast. We only had to make one trip out for a "talking to" and with promises of holding the Advent candle, John was able to sit w.us the entire service. Ella though, bless her heart - the horns from the band prelude found her making a swift trip to the nursery for the service, but thankfully she did fine there.

John's "talking to" followed several incidents that had us shaking the pew in laughter. We let him go up front for the children's message which I thought he would do great for b/c his Nana was the one doing the story. Boy, was I wrong. About 1 page into the book she was reading, her precious little grandson started his own fire drill of "stop, drop & roll" and across the front of the church he went - rolling away. Seth & I were laughing so hard we could hardly contain ourselves. I asked Seth if he was going to get him - he said "no". So in trying to collect myself knowing that one of us had to be the parent (despite how entertaining he was being) I jumped up to scoop him up & usher him out the side door. Of course, he dead weighted me immediately, which meant I had to bend over completely in front of the congregation - thank goodness I was wearing long pants.

Once we were back in our pew, John continued to make us and everyone watching in the choir smile and chuckle. As the dieners came out the side door with the trays of coffee, our lil' announcer let everyone know by saying "COFFEE" in his out-on-the-football-field voice. As we got our Lovefeast buns, the lil' monger took a big ol' bite out of his, then shoving it in Seth's face asking, "Wan some?!". Seth declined, pulling a lil' bit of bun out of his nose. After everyone was served, we said the Moravian blessing - which John says before every meal at home, so he's a lil' familiar with it. Once the "amen" was said at the end, John always being a word or two behind said his "amen" but again in his out-on-the-football-field voice and since that was the only voice heard, all eyes came to us. But he's in church saying the blessing, so we couldn't really be anything but proud. Finally, the promised Advent candles were passed out- my favorite moment of the night. As the final hymn, "Christ the Lord Most Glorious" was sung, Seth holding John, candle lit - the light illuminating their faces, a heart be still moment for sure.

Back to my lingering thoughts. Although a lil' out of context, that last definition of linger, "to remain alive" is by far my favorite. We are nothing short of "alive" right now. From the wee hours of the morning till the time our heads are finally able to rest on the pillow at night - ours days are very much alive! And though some days being so alive can wear us out - we have never felt life as full and blessed as we do in this moment. Having two babies to wake up to Christmas morning - we had the anticipation of children ourselves. Being the parents of these two wonderful children is such a wonderful gift. Sharing time with our families and seeing the joy and smiles John & Ella brought to their faces - that in itself was one of the best gifts this Christmas.

While John & Ella were napping on Christmas day, we found ourselves bundled on my parents front porch, watching it snow ~ enjoying the beauty of a white Christmas. We had my mom take a picture of us sitting in one of their rockers - me on Seth's lap. We joked that it was a signature shot for us - we've taken several pictures in that rocker in that same pose. As I think back to the people we were in those pictures - simply boyfriend & girlfriend, I can't help but smile. The love and life that has transpired in just a few short years is amazing. The husband & wife and mama & deddy smiling back now makes my heart so full.

For all the fullness I'm speaking of...I'd be lying if I didn't confess that I have always felt a little deflated after Christmas. Once the Merry Christmases have been exchanged, Morning Star has been sung, presents have been opened and the wrapping paper lays in crumbled piles all around - there's just always a little sadness in that. All that anticipation is fulfilled in what feels like such a blink. Not so much this Christmas...there wasn't any sadness, just thankfulness and joy.

Now, a day into 2011, I feel full and excited for this new year. I know these "babies" will continue to grow and change. I'm looking forward to all the joy our home will continue to be filled with. I can also look back at the past year & smile at all the wonderful memories made. There were some suprises, lots of happy moments, few disappointments and more blessings than we could possibly count.

I think my mantra for the year may just be to continue to "linger in anticipation". There is always something to look forward to, to anticipate. However, I know that the journey - the lingering part - that's really the crux of it all. As I wrote a while back in the "about us" on this blog..

We'd call it a journey, but joy in the destination and you can never reach the limits of that...

That said, I sincerely hope that this Christmas season was blessed for everyone. I hope the true meanings and celebration were kept close at heart. Most of all, I hope that the joy & peace given to us by God's most precious gift - salvation through his son - will be sustaining and give you hope in this new year.

Happy New Year & God bless

ps. to those of you who endeared any of the many times I had to watch my favorite of all holiday movies - Christmas Vacation - thanks for sharing the laughs. It never gets old & I love you all the more for loving it too!

pps. to my fellow train builder, the "derailment" and ensuing crash of the Santa Express on Christmas Eve was a highlight of Christmas for me - thanks for being up for the task!

ppps. to Pappaw - who came to get me & my babies when as John says, "we fell over" in the snow on Christmas Day - thanks!