Purveyin' an existence...

I like to use the word "purveyor".  Even if I don't say it aloud, I'm surely thinkin' it :)  By trying to live consciously, mindfully - I like to think to some degree that I am the "purveyor of my existence."  To me, this mostly means that I am keenly aware of my free-will (make no mistake, I know the giver of that & thank Him everyday) and the freedoms, responsibility and challenges in that.  Moreover, I'm owning the day - not letting life just happen :)

So, I laughed when I read freedictionary.com's 1st meaning of purveyor:

1. One that furnishes provisions, especially food.

Ha, that "especially" at the end - a large part of all my purveyin', especially of late :)  Ran a marathon kitchen this past weekend that left me a lil' tired & a lil' grumpy.  Meals for the week were made & lots of stocking was done in the freezers.  Knowing we'll be gone 2 weekends in a row this coming month, unheard of.  Trying to "prepare" to be w.out our cherished weekends to regroup.  

Speakin' of preparing - lots of this going on in anticipation of Ella's 1st birthday.  Found a "loose ends" check list the other day of all the other planning I was doing this time last year (sigh).  So, being on this side of things, just a little beyond excited at celebrating this past year w.our sweet Ella Bella.  Working on 1st year keepsakes/momentos for her to have one day when she's older.  I want her to know how excited we were to celebrate the gift of her presence in our life.  Her party will be at my home church, Hope Moravian - where I was when I was a baby, a place that will always be "home" for me in so many ways.  The sentimental part of me - yeah thoughts of that just make my heart happy :)

Still trying to wrap our minds around the fact that she's almost a year old.  I'm finding out as a parent that you spend a lot of time thinking "how did we get here & where did that time go".  As little Miss shows more and more lil' personality, a fair share of tenacity and blesses with the sunshine of her laughter - we just watch in amazement.  Lately, we've found ourselves interjecting with a little "No Ella", when she's doing a mad wipe across her food tray (which means lots of little bits of food are confetti'd across the floor) or she's perching herself on the marble in front of the fireplace - looking back as soon as she begins reaching for the screen, anticipating our chorus of "No's"...this amuses her greatly.  Apes will be glad to know she enjoys my "Out on the Porch" book as much as I do.  Tons of other things/books to gravitate to, but she pulls this out with great regularity...might have to get her a copy to preserve mine :)  Point being, Ella Bella's beginning to hear some "no's" and despite what she thinks, they're not for her entertainment :)

She's learning to play a lil' rougher lately as she pummels herself towards John when he's within reach.  She can tussle pretty good with him & engages him any chance she gets.  Conversely, she's also very good at turning on a cry when she's had enough.  I'm convinced that lil' girls are born knowing the power of a cry - any man (esp. Deddy's) w.in earshot will quickly try to cease any/all crying :)  

Oh yeah, and she's standing every chance she gets.  Sometimes you just walk into the room & bam - she's just standing there not holding on to anything :)  To show off, she may bend over at the waist and then stand herself right back up.  Then she gives a lil' bounce with a cute lil' sound, like "ha, did you see that - wanna see it again?!"  And she's taking couple of steps here & there too.  Yep, sooo very on the cusp...and such a show-off with it :)

There wasn't a fun things from the weekend - we worked too hard & in the moments we weren't working, we just "sponged".  The camera  got out once & I wish I had the camera card w.me so I could share what was captured :)  Pop Pop and Nonnie made a stop-through visit Saturday afternoon.  Somehow we got on the subject of tattoos and b/c it amused me, I told John he should pick out 2 big ones for Pop Pop to put on his arms too.  Pop Pop's good nature made for some awesome arm tattoos (that last for weeks) and some nice shirtless shots w.him & John there in the kitchen :)  With Nonnie standing beside the shirtless boys holding Ella (the girls kept their shirts on) - it was some motley crew pics for sure!  

Speaking of John, he's had a little bit of a week thus far.  Monday morning found he & Seth at the dr.  Overnight Sunday, he was struggling to breathe, had that stridor breathing and seal-like cough, was very upset - so we quickly gave him a breathing treatment afraid it could be an asthma attack.  Between his struggle to breathe & getting more & more upset (all this was middle of the night), it was a somewhat stressful time.  Once he finished the breathing treatment & calmed down - well, despite the wild eyed shakiness that the albuterol gives him - he vomitted :(  It was just a MASS of mucous.  Bless his heart and bless ours too - it was yucky!  After a trip to the dr. monday morning with Seth and some lessons in exhaling/inhaling breathing ailments and how to distinguish them, doc said it was croup.  He got a steroid treatment there & has barely shown a symptom since.  He's still picking his nose & eating boogers, but that's another issue entirely :)

Stayin' on the subject of the 1st born, I have to talk a little about John's singin' and prayin' of late.  First, that singin' - boy is all about making up his own songs these days.  He'll ask, "you know this one?", followed with some lyrics about spiderman, a bear, hitting, jumping...I really can't do any justice to how elaborate his little songs are.  And they're long as hell - haha.  Last night in the bath, after trying to sing a little "deep & wide" w.Ella I told John he could pick a song.  He went with a John Fisher original - after about minute 4, I said, "Buddy, we have to sing a little quieter & maybe it's time for a new song?!"  The length, the volume, the motions - his gravelly (for effect) singing voice - sometimes, too much of a good thing :)

And for the prayers...this makes me smile to think about :)  Last night, I paused for a moment to listen at his door as him & Seth were sayin' them.  John was giving his spiel, I mean prayer, that sounds more like an adventurous fiction narrative.  I heard mention of "Ella", "the bear", "not get her", "I'm gonna get him", "my knife/sword", "mean", "hurt her" - then Seth interjected finally - the kid can go on & on!  The preface we give John is "tell God what you're thankful for" and it used to start w.family, baby sister, grandparents, toys.  He's digressed wholly from the initial format.  The other night he was thankful for his toys and for God to not let Ella play with his toys cause she's too little and has her own toys, etc.  He never ceases to amuse us :)

What else, since this is a day early "stream of consciousness" type blog :)

Our good friend Kimberly found out earlier this week that they're having a girl.  Mariah Gail should be here sometime in February - hahaha.  Totally kidding, I don't know what they'll name her but b/c that's my girl version of "Dave", (aka horrible baby names) I've taken to calling her that till I know her real name :)  Just like Hayden may always be a little Dave-ish to us, baby Johnson may be a little Mariah for us till we know her real name.  I digress...I'm super-excited that she's having a little girl (although I was sure it was gonna be a boy) and just know she's going to be beautiful like her mama & deddy.  Ella will always feel pale next to her & I will just have to explain that b/c we're pale and lil' Mariah's parents are very olive complected - she will never be as tan.  You can see I'm focusing on the important stuff :)  Seriously, tickled for Kimberly & Matt - speaking from experience, lil' girls are such captivating, heart stealing, sweet lil' beings...and I'm barely a year in w.mine.  I know they'll be great parents & they'll be so blessed to belong to each other.

Got a smile a while ago, listening to a voicemail from Shannon, "It's a pretty, sunny day - thought of you..." (sigh).  Even though I missed her call, so nice to have that sweet message to listen to.  It's a bright sunny day here too - like the song says, "such a pretty world today" :)  Happy that it's Little Friday - looking forward to enjoying a final weekend at home before the October adventures commence.  Promising myself that I won't allow as much busyness this weekend.  The existence I plan on purveyin' will be more time spent on the floor w.the babies, enjoyin' FM's pumpkin spice coffee on the porch (purchased simply for the occasion of cooler weather on the weekend horizon), enjoyin' some adult bevs where appropriate, listenin' to some good music, opening the windows - making sure to just "be" as much as possible :)

Recent Story People alludes to above sentiment - tryin' my best to stay the latter of these...

There are your fog people & your sun people, he said. I said I wasn't sure which kind I was. He nodded. Fog'll do that to you, he said.

Happy Lil' Friday :)