Thanksgiving early - a lil' crow on the menu :)

Happy WACDD...can't say it's much like one yet, but the day is still young :)  Been knee-deep in s*&* today thus far.  Ella Bella's got a schnasty (that's worse than nasty) stomach bug that found her directly deposited in the tub when she 1st got up - rude awakening for us both.  Been laundering, lysoling, cloroxing as fast as I can behind the trail of schnastiness.  The poop monster's down for a lil' morning siesta, so prayin' we'll see a turn around in the next lil' bit or more daytime baths may be on the horizon.


So I'm not blogging to talk about poop :)  Actually I didn't finish my entry from yesterday so thought I'd tie a loose end or two.  Got my coffee steaming in front of me, logs burning & Etta singin' "Misty Blue" woefully in the background - a "life is good" moment amidst the chaos of the morning thus far.  If you dare, read on below - it's a long one and a lot of "wringin' out"...consider yourself warned :)

**************************************************************************************************

(warning: stream of consciousness to follow)


Sitting here in disbelief that we're a mere week out from Thanksgiving.  This time next week, we'll likely have our bellies full & finally be settling down, babies (hopefully) down for their afternoon naps.  Like everything else, the holiday season feels a little thrust upon us b/c time is speeding up (at least it feels like it is).  I readily confess feelings of unpreparedness.  Worrisome thoughts of gift lists, decorations, travel plans, gatherings with friends and family...feels like I have a stock ticker running along the bottom of my mind's "screen" with all that's on the horizon.  We just marked the calendar with new plans on our only "free" weekend till after Christmas and I'm ok with that - more than ok, I think I'm glad (shock, gasp).  

That preparedness I speak of lacking - I think I'm giving myself a break this year on ALL OF IT.  Those worrisome thoughts - I'm working on setting them down.  I'm reveling a little (rather than panicking) at the blessing of a full calendar b/c I know the time shared and memories made are the point of it all.  Receiving the blessings rather than spending time in preparation...AKA, gettin' oh-so-lost in the details, the STUFF.

I find myself looking around when I'm out & about with disdain at all the Christmas hoopla I'm seeing.  I call it hoopla b/c we're not even through Thanksgiving and it looks like Christmas is tomorrow with the displays of decorations - the perceived urgency perpetuated by "shopping days until".  Like we're somehow gonna miss the boat if we don't act now.

Well, eating my portion of crow b/c I feel like I've been one to almost watch that boat sail by in years past.  Usually jumping on just in time for those final days - making sure I can fill my heart with a little joy & peace right there at the crux of things.  Putting up a Macy's Parade worth of decorations, worrying over Christmas lists, planning & more planning.  I know it will be a work in progress, but I'm hoping to make great strides in this flagship year of scaling back.  Trying to live out my beliefs - reflect those values instead of what I see around me.  Gravitate away from the "stuff" and more to the moments.   

I had already decided to put out less Christmas decorations b/c lil' Miss would likely be into everything, but I think in my heart I'm welcoming that excuse to scale back.  I hope that will perpetuate beyond this year.  That whatever I do decide to put out will be for the joy of decorating, the meaning & not just upping the "pretty."


Why the need to say all this - probably because I have a lil' fear in me.  Fear that I will continue to do what I've always done just b/c I've always done it.  Adding to, rather than evaluating the already.  Deciding whether or not it still holds meaning and making a choice.  Goes back to that concept of intentional living - acting with purpose rather than just existing or going through the motions.  Making choices for John & Ella w.hopes that their memories of growing up will be filled with meaningful traditions - those lil' events and particulars that will emerge and evolve in the years to come.  I'm not searching for anything grandiose, but more noticing the treasures found in the everyday - some sentimental moments & momentos here & there.  Those little things than will bring a smile to their face or warm their hearts when they recall it years from now.  I think that's what I seek most.  Back to that quote about "little things, little moments - they aren't little" - yep, oceans of truth in that.


There will still be presents, there will still be decorations - I'm not condemning those things.  What I'm trying to get away from is the perceived urgency and misplaced focus they can manifest.  The way that urgency can make things that don't matter as much feel consuming.  The way losing sight of what's importatnt can steal the heart's joy & desire to give & celebrate.  Yada, yada, yada - just trying a less is more approach this year...wish me luck :)


Nice segueway into my early Thanksgiving-ning...


Trying to clear out my thoughts and open my heart right now about a lot of things.  Alluding to that breakneck pace I'm constantly harping on (yeah, like everyone else has 30 hrs in a day), I'm learning, or rather by God's amazing grace, I'm being taught to take the time each day with any available moment to "wring out".  To laugh, to cry, to pray, to shout, to sing...whatever the moment calls for, being ready to submit to it.  Receiving rather than always preparing - planning less & living more.  Being thankful that I'm not called to be anymore than I am and that with faith I will always be enough, have enough & find ways (big and small) to share with others.


I find myself constantly thinking about Rick Warren's "life's like a railroad" analogy.  It never gets old & is so relative...

I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

There's so much truth in all of that.  And it doesn't sugarcoat the flow of life.  How frightening to live life between hills & valleys - I like the balance of a railroad much better.  I can get my mind around that.  It gives me reason to count my blessings, to pray for myself & others, to find hope and to actively seek the good. 

So, I'm actively trying to get "there" - being present for what's always been the stepping stone to Christmas.  Thanksgiving being the humble sister holiday to all the flash & fun of Christmas.  The older I get, the more I like humble.  The older I get, the more I appreciate the idea that "less is more."  Thanksgiving becoming the culmination day for celebrating a way of life - one that includes trying to live humbly and with a thankful heart for my many blessings.  Facing the realization that if my heart isn't thankful, there's no way I can really even began to "prepare" to receive the blessing of Christmas.  All the outward preparedness in the world won't get me ready for that...


What a blessed past weekend to get my heart in a thankful way.  Celebrating our nephews Tanner (7) & Griffin's (2) birthdays!  Also celebrating Shannon's birthday - I don't guess it's as appropriate to list her age :)  The joy in seeing these babies grow into toddlers & full fledged little boys...just amazing.  The joy in having a sister that I only grow to love and appreciate more & more...again, just amazing.  Celebrating their lives - a blessing.  All of these fall birthdays (with still more to come) - good "nudges" to get the heart open...


And I guess that's the larger point of all my "rambling"...still working on finding grace, but add to the list of things being searched for at this time in my life - a more open heart & mind.  Less thinking, less planning - more living.  Taking the day as it comes and embracing it.  The joys, the disappointments - taking all of it and actively seeking the blessings and the lessons.  Keeping steady on this railroad of life - giving thanks that if I can get out of my own way, God will faithfully and graciously conduct my "train."

*****************************************************************************************************

That's all I got this morning.  Gonna refresh my coffee & enjoy this peace and pray that the day will get less "poopy"...

Yesterday's Story People - right on target :)

We're already in the new age, she said to me. What does that mean? I said & she laughed. It means you can stop waiting & start living, she said, but after she left I waited a little while more just to be safe.

Happy weekend...